All hail, o great Jordan, remediator of minor annoyances and general keeper of The Grammer! 

Your disciple offers you this, and invisible burnt marshmellow and these, invisible graham crackers and chocolate squares, in order that you might have a yummy in your divine tummy. 

Thus an offering was made for the wrinkles of life to continue to be smoothed in odd and wonderful ways. 

 It befell in the days of the All Jordan that the chariot of the deity was held by heathens in a prison known as Garage in the lands of Down Town. Lo, her disciple Shu was disheartened and distress, crying unto the All Jordan,
"Woe! A Lack!"
And the All Jordan spoke unto her saying thusly,
"There is no lack, for I have in my possession ye Little Plastic Card, for am I not goddess of small annoyances?" 
And the All Jordan smote mightily the Garage with her Little Plastic Card, saying unto it, 
"Let us go, demon of the raised gate thingy, let us go!" 
And it was so, for the all jordan is mightily handy that way. 

 It befell in the days of the Flaming (Silly) Bush that the "Password", key to the teachings of the All Jordan, fell from her disciple's mind. 
"A lass and a lack!" cried Shu, the All Jordan's disciple, who thought she may, perhaps qualify as a lass, and was certainly experiencing a lack. "The password hath failed...eth....me." 
But, lo, the Reset worked in the days of New Hope-bama (surely brought about by the All Jordan in her deep and secretive way to ease the major inconveniences of life that Her disciples might get on with worrying about the minor inconveniences and annoyances). And thus enlightenment returned to the land of internet as once more the teachings of the All Jordan were recorded far and wide. 

The All Jordan is great in ways innumerable. All praise the All Jordan. 

And lo the All-Jordan had spoken unto Her disciple saying thusly:

HOW ABOUT GREEN TEA?

And it was good in the knowing of her disciple, who is rather partial to Genmaicha and Jasmine Tea but wouldn't say no to nice cuppa Gunpowder Green, neither. 

For may days the disciple Shu wandered in the wilderness known as the Stupid Residence Halls nearby to the Wretched Planetarium. And as The All-Jordan's disciple Shu contemplated the great words of the All-Jordan it occured to her that a bit of a tea-tasting could be a grand tradition for Honeycake Days.

 The day was nearing a close, yet still light, for thus was the power of the All-Jordan to manifest miracles shown. Unto Her disciple Shu the All-Jordan spoke, saying thusly: 

Thou shalt offer unto me tea and honey cakes once upon each thirteenth day. 

The Jordanological Debate
The church of the All-Jordan expects that great debate shall arise surrounding this first of the suggestions of the All-Jordan. In fact, we will be mightily disappointed if there is not at least a minor schism over it. Let us begin it now! Did the All-Jordan intend to be offered tea and honeycakes on the thirteenth day of each month, thirteen days from the date of the pronouncement and every thirteen days afterwad??? And what tea did the All-Jordan have in mind? 


The Teaching
Tea and honeycakes are greatly important to the All-Jordan. Adherents of the cult of the All-Jordan must be able to make honeycakes and must learn the teas thouroughly- black, green, white, and herbal! To show devotion to the All-Jordan, adherents are advised to carry a teacup or teacup-shaped insignia!